This tongue-in-cheek advice to visual artists is part of a very thoughtful article over on hyperallergic, which outlines practical tips for artists looking to further their careers. http://hyperallergic.com/
I read the above in a FB post from Tempus and added a few more of my own....
Paintings with red or warm colors.
Purty, scantily clad babes.
The landscapes have to be of a valley, yes, arable and fertile looking, sheltered by mountains, with a good water source 9river, stream, lake) in it.
Pictures that don't make the viewer think too much or challenge any norms. Nothing brimming with intelligence or so innovative as to be unfamiliar. Decorative colors, if not entirely decorative paintings are a good bet, what I call "condo candy". Images that vomit their "secrets" like a freshman on Spring Break. Ok, I'll stop now...